在繁忙繁忙的日常生活中，我們這些過著“正?！鄙畹娜撕苋菀缀鲆曇粋€(gè)不同的現(xiàn)實(shí)——每天都有癌癥幸存者勇敢地與死亡的幽靈作斗爭(zhēng)，往往只有在他們艱苦的治療和化療結(jié)束后才能松一口氣。這些幸存者面臨著一系列獨(dú)特的挑戰(zhàn)，但許多人設(shè)法創(chuàng)造出一種正常的外表。有些人甚至發(fā)現(xiàn)自己被他們的經(jīng)歷改變了，演變成新的自己，使他們不可能回到診斷前的樣子。公開講述自己經(jīng)歷的人包括34歲的希巴·阿卜杜勒·拉赫曼(Hiba Abdul Rahman)，她勇敢地面對(duì)乳腺癌二期;42歲的Kartini Kamalul Ariffin醫(yī)生與乳腺癌一期作斗爭(zhēng);以及73歲的薩拉米婭·哈桑(Salamiah Hassan)，她的悲慘故事通過女兒阿提利亞·哈倫(Atilia Haron)的眼睛分享。每一位女性都體現(xiàn)了韌性和勇氣，讓人們看到了生存的力量。

學(xué)習(xí)一門關(guān)于悲傷- HIBA

希巴·阿卜杜勒·拉赫曼

A cancer survivor for nine years where the coming February would conclude ten years, Hiba surprised the audiences during her talk at a breast cancer awareness event with the amount of positivity she endured along with the painful moments not everyone could imagine.

At the age of 25, she got diagnosed with stage two breast cancer where she highlighted the journey of mainly redefining grief in her life.

Initially dismissed as a simple lump, it wasn’t until bleeding from her nipple - a symptom incongruous with explanation for breastfeeding women (Hiba does not have children) - that the true nature of the lump was finally recofnised.

The fight against cancer wasn’t limited to just the disease itself. Brutal side effects from the treatment forced Hiba to endure three laparatomy surgeries and a medication changed that caused such severe issues, she had to leave the workforce. These weren’t the only challenges - Hiba currently manages rheumatoid arthritis, entometrial hyperplasia and a canal cholesteatoma in her ear.

Having to endure the pain of losing a breast to it, she said that these brought tremendous changes in her life not just physically but also spiritually.

“Grief is not just when somebody passes on, it’s when you lose a part of yourself (through breast removal), the transition from being a normal person to someone with cancer, looking back at who I used to be and making way for who I am going to become is also what I call as grief.

“I believe having only one breast still makes me a woman," she said.

Chemotherapy being one of the main causes for her pain, she further said that her main strength came from a stable familial support system along with a medical team that felt like family.

To cope with the pain of chemotherapy, she seeked solace in board games, using them as a welcome distraction from her challenges.

However, she describes experiencing “chemo brain,” a fog that leaves her struggling to enjoy everyday activities like watching television or playing video games (she was once an avid online gamer). This shift has forced her to adapt, finding joy in the simplicity of board games as she navigates this difficult chapter of her life.

“Board games have helped me a lot in improving my memory and level of understanding which not enjoying normal hobbies stopped,” she said.

Further adding to the unconditional support she got, she noted her family and friends as well as the medical team played a significant role.

“My friends and family made me forget that I was in treatment,” Hiba said.

She recounted a heart-wrenching conversation with her older sister, revealing the deep sense of helplessness that washed over her each time she contemplated Hiba's difficult situation as the youngest in the family.

“She would say that she felt helpless when being unable to ease my pain,” she told the audience.

Hiba said that though she is the youngest, she dislikes being considered spoiled and likes to spoil others instead such as her sister’s children. Her having cancer changed that but Hiba remains strong against the currents of challenges that made the normal become abnormal.

She said that being a fan of cosplays also helped her cope during the treatment phases, where she would dress up as Harry Potter characters at some hospital visits to “jazz it up.”

She brought some fun into her bald look by adding henna art to her head, spending six hours getting it all done. It was a creative way to spice things up and turn her situation into something a little more playful!

“My buttock hurts from all the sitting down and apparently, your head is a large surface area,” she said humorously.

“One time, I forgot to bring my Baymax plushie with me to my chemotherapy treatment, then the medical staff who knew me and even my house told me to go get it knowing that it was my coping mechanism,” she added.

She said that those little fun moments along with her support system, helped her tremendously in going through something as difficult as cancer.

She also said that she adopted the mindset of taking one day at a time.

She also encouraged the audience to consider the challenges faced by medical staff, who endure their own struggles while caring for cancer patients. “They’re also going through a lot, be nice to them,” Hiba said.

CANCER FREE

Being nine years cancer-free now, she is known to advocate for early detection.

“I’m the living proof of it. If I didn’t get my early detection and treatment, I would not have made it to today,” she said.

She emphasised the importance of valuing time, where surviving over time gives cancer patients confidence to go through another day. Being in such a dire situation also made her learn to ask for help where it used to be difficult to do so.

“Even as the youngest child, I don’t usually ask for help, rather, I offer it and I love doing it especially when it comes to my siblings’ kids. Now that I got sick I can’t help them anymore and have to do things for myself,” she said.

She expressed heartfelt gratitude for her caregivers, who provided her with unwavering support, even as she noticed changes within her family during her illness.

“We’ve gone a lot closer because of this journey,” she said.

She further noted positive changes in the aspect of mental health where she has learnt to love herself more and be more confident, especially in public speaking since she has been sharing her journey with a lot of people in the public.

“I used to hate public speaking, I would get cold feet and then run away, and I’m here talking about my journey and I have cancer to be thankful for that,” she said.

母愛

Kartini Kamalul Ariffin博士

Kartini分享了她從2023年2月開始的第一階段癌癥之旅，并透露她最初對(duì)她的兩個(gè)孩子隱瞞了自己的診斷結(jié)果，以保護(hù)他們免受心碎。她承認(rèn)這是她戰(zhàn)斗中最具挑戰(zhàn)性的方面。然而，她很快意識(shí)到自己低估了孩子們，孩子們對(duì)這個(gè)消息的反應(yīng)比預(yù)期的要好。

“告訴他們我得了癌癥是很有挑戰(zhàn)性的，但我們經(jīng)常低估我們的孩子，因?yàn)樗麄兛梢猿惺芨唷?/p>

“我哭了，但他們一直支持我，”她說，并進(jìn)一步表示，她對(duì)他們的堅(jiān)韌和堅(jiān)強(qiáng)感到驚訝。

她去醫(yī)院的次數(shù)與她患癌癥前的家庭出游類似，比如去購(gòu)物中心、在海灘上家庭野餐或去主題公園。

“周末去醫(yī)院接受放療時(shí)，腫瘤科醫(yī)生的房間就成了我家人的休息區(qū)，”她說。

她進(jìn)一步說，這樣的小事對(duì)癌癥患者的康復(fù)之旅來說意義非凡。

她闡明了老一輩人是如何傾向于向孩子隱瞞諸如患癌癥之類的事情，以免給孩子帶來負(fù)擔(dān)的，并敦促將突發(fā)新聞和提高對(duì)這一問題的認(rèn)識(shí)正?；?。

“隨著我們談?wù)摰迷絹碓蕉?，我覺得有必要繼續(xù)分享我的經(jīng)歷。我母親得了癌癥，但我們一直不知道，她也因此去世了?，F(xiàn)在，我們生活在內(nèi)疚中，因?yàn)槲覀儫o法幫助我們的媽媽?！彼姓J(rèn)，癌癥患者表現(xiàn)得“自私”是可以理解的，因?yàn)檫@種疾病經(jīng)常消耗他們的思想和精力，導(dǎo)致他們主要關(guān)注自己的生存，而不是尋求幫助。

從一個(gè)女兒的角度來看

Atilia Haron

阿提利亞同意卡爾蒂尼關(guān)于孩子的韌性的觀點(diǎn)，她知道她的母親在診斷后才變得更親近，她在第一階段就患有乳腺癌。1981年，她的母親薩拉米婭·哈桑(Salamiah Hassan)在洗澡時(shí)感到左乳房有一個(gè)腫塊，乳房x光檢查結(jié)果顯示她患有乳腺癌。

阿提利亞·哈倫和她的母親薩拉米婭·哈桑。

現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)沒有癌癥了，阿蒂利亞說，作為一個(gè)癌癥患者的孩子，這段旅程并不容易。阿提利亞說:“從那時(shí)起，我和母親的關(guān)系就很緊張，因?yàn)樗腚[瞞這個(gè)消息，但我知道，并假裝不知道?！彼a(bǔ)充說，從那時(shí)起，她就一直在自學(xué)母親的診斷結(jié)果。

現(xiàn)在，她倡導(dǎo)癌癥治療事業(yè)，一直在為遠(yuǎn)離癌癥可能性的健康生活方式提供免費(fèi)瑜伽課程，并向醫(yī)療中心和癌癥協(xié)會(huì)(如吉隆坡醫(yī)院的一個(gè)協(xié)會(huì))捐款。

她最終找到了一種方法告訴她，她知道了，從那以后，他們的聯(lián)系變得更加緊密了。

“我知道父母不想給孩子增加負(fù)擔(dān)，但看看我現(xiàn)在的樣子。這讓我成為了一個(gè)更堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的人?！?/p>

她進(jìn)一步補(bǔ)充說，她也認(rèn)為支持很重要，她強(qiáng)調(diào)了Hiba在獲得外部支持的同時(shí)為實(shí)現(xiàn)這一目標(biāo)所做的努力。

她說:“你為積極而做的小事也可能來自積極的環(huán)境?！?/p>

阿提利亞還承認(rèn)，癌癥患者的情緒可能會(huì)變得暴躁，她說，她母親的情緒最明顯。她說:“給她空間很重要，因?yàn)閷?duì)于一個(gè)努力撫養(yǎng)我們的人來說，患癌癥是很困難的?！?/p>

阿提利亞還承認(rèn)，她對(duì)母親最初覺得有必要對(duì)她隱瞞這個(gè)消息感到憤怒。

“醫(yī)學(xué)上有很多進(jìn)步，人們不應(yīng)該再害怕分享了，”她說。

隨著時(shí)間的推移，她了解到她的母親是一個(gè)堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的人?！艾F(xiàn)在，我總是和她在一起，我?guī)ザ燃?，只有我們兩個(gè)人，我們甚至互相借衣服穿，因?yàn)槲覀兊某叽a一樣。

“我們?cè)谝黄鹜娴煤荛_心，我知道她正在重新開始，尤其是在她丈夫去世后。我現(xiàn)在想盡我所能地在她身邊，就像兩個(gè)單身女孩統(tǒng)治世界一樣，”阿蒂莉亞說。

盡管癌癥患者經(jīng)歷了災(zāi)難，但他們的生存故事仍然存在于那些經(jīng)歷同樣事情的人的心中。

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